Every life-changing decision must stem from within. It may be a weight loss journey, the decision to quit smoking, quit drinking, start a business, whatever it is, only you can make the decisions for the change you desire. The drive is rarely ever external; it does not matter how many people tell you, and how often they do so to do something. If you are not convicted from the inside, you will never get the ball rolling. Neuroscience suggests that addressing the decision-making process itself is key to breaking bad habits.
Take my husband Atte for instance. He had steadily gained weight for over two years or more. He did not have bad eating habits per say, he was not eating very healthily either. In all these years I have been complaining and scolding, advising and threatening, to no avail. He had all sorts of slags to defend himself. He’d say things like, “it’s all muscle babe” or “my colleagues are asking if I am lifting weights because I look so strong”. I hated to break it to him and I never did but it was far from muscle, it shook like jelly when he moved. Jelly arms, jelly belly, jelly cheeks ( I am saying all of these in hindsight, my sarcasm is strictly for laughter and this would not have been funny two years ago).

The weight gain escalates while I am pregnant with our first son, when I complain, he goes “but we are pregnant babe”. Fun fact, I looked bloated but it was all water weight because I was suffering from Edema– So two weeks after Ikaia is born, I am back to my pre-baby weight while he looks very much pregnant, all by himself! He was not ready to make the decisions for the change I thought he needed.
It is late August of 2017, my younger sister, Lyn has been having one heck of a vacation and it is time for her to pack her bags, or as my grandmother (Mamie Celine Mbekwa, God bless that woman!) would put it, “join her cargo” and return home to Cameroon. Like every true Cameroonian, she has amassed every kind of every piece of clothing and accessories. Mind you it is the end of summer, with the mind-blowing end of summer sales.
Every town Lyn has visited on this trip, the natural thing to do has been to shop. After all, there were eye-catching dresses going for three Euros, kitchen items which she did not think she needed but with eighty percent off it was impossible to resist such deals. She almost goes stark raving mad jumping from one shop to the other. She made the decisions to change her closet and kitchen based on the sales she saw. Give both a complete a make-over.
While she is excited about the various deals she is seeing, she does not remember the airline has a maximum weight of fifty-six kilograms per passenger. Here we are at home, packing and unpacking. Reshuffling items from this box to that box to even the boxes out. Making room for “not too important items” to be at the top so that we can take them out at the airport if we encounter a “not so nice” hostess who won’t let ten extra kilograms go through. Now it is time to weigh the boxes. Of course, we do not have a proper scale. We have what we use to weigh ourselves. The problem is we can’t see the display as the boxes are too broad and are covering the entire screen of the scale.
Someone has to weigh themselves, we take note of their weight, then they carry the boxes on their head and climb on the scale, and then we take the difference of the weights (Typical Africans! what exactly is our problem with progress?). You would think that two educated people who happen to travel a lot, with A Lot of stuff would own a proper mass measuring gadget but NO. Anyway, that someone has to be Atte given Lyn and I are not strong enough to lift up the boxes.
Ladies and gentlemen, I had bought this scale two years prior to this incident purposely for Atte to weigh himself. Given he did not believe me when I said he was gaining weight, I’d hoped he’d believe the scale. He was adamant! He had refused categorically in all these years to climb on that scale. Now he was trapped! Lord was I happy. He tried to come up with an excuse but there was no escaping this time. He reluctantly climbed on, we all looked at the display. It read one hundred and twenty-nine kilograms. I screamed, one hundred and twenty-nine kilograms ???!!!”
Silence followed. I wonder what must have been going through his mind then? Maybe he was making decisions on how to go about change? He came down, lifted the first box up, and climbed on the scale once more, the scale crashed! We had no choice but pray for the best of hostesses as we headed to the airport the day Lyn travelled. The entire airport scene is a story for another day. Back to Atte and his big aha moment.
The very next day he goes down to the basement, brings up all of the work-out attires he had packed away for God knows how long. He tells me he is off to the gym. A gym he had been paying money to for over two years and had never shown up at. A couple of weeks later he tells me he is adding low carbs to his menu. I’m like “okay”. He goes to the gym four times a week. In the beginning, he is struggling, but he is seeing results. The more weight he loses, the more motivated he gets. He loses ten kilograms in the first month. Clothes are getting loose, he is feeling strong mentally and physically.
He now spends a lot of time in front of the mirror(hilarious!). Encouraged by what he sees, he works out more, six times a week. No more wines and whiskey. Before Christmas of 2017, in just four months he had lost twenty-five kilograms! It has been two years now and this man travels with his dumbbells! As in it does not matter where he is, there shall be no missing out on a workout. Two and a half years later, thirty-five kilograms down, a healthy lifestyle, a stronger mindset, and all because Lyn would not stop shopping! kidding, all because it came from within.
It did not matter that I sounded like a broken record for three whole years. Or that he had to keep changing his wardrobe by moving one or two sizes up every now and again. Or that I had to poke him most nights because neighbours from five hundred meters away could hear him snoring. None of that mattered.
I could not get him to lose that weight no matter what I did. He to get to that place of making the decisions himself to see the change he so desired. Then he took the necessary steps to get rid of the excess weight. Whatever your endeavours, the decisions to make changes are in your hands. You have the power of choice. Choose to grow, to be better, to evolve, to be the best version of yourself. Staying consistent is key, that too is a story for another day…(Click here for the sequel)
It was Great read + loud laughter 😂. Hope to see more soonest wink
lool. thanks dear. for sure…
Amazing. Perfect right up
Thanks Ma
This is great Sis. I hope other readers get inspired from this and effect the changes they desire in every other aspects.
I hope so too my dear. thanks!
Lyn’s shopping and then Atte’s losing weight. Hilarious and motivating too. Keep going Atte!
looool.Now i am inspired too
Awesome and inspiring read!! Loved loved loved it! Can’t wait for the next read!
Thanks thanks thanks. Especially for encouraging me to do this…
Wandas! (in Atte’s Voice..) ,😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I can personally say you inspired me to loose 15kg in 6 months Njweng when I saw update on your hubby’ s weight loss on your,status. In your words..” you need to be disciplined.” Keep inspiring
I can personally say you inspired me to loose 15kg in 6 months Njweng when I saw the update of Atte’s weight loss journey on your WA status. In your words..” you need to be disciplined.” I took that and it worked. Keep inspiring☺
Really???? 15kg down?? You go girl!! So proud of you. Thanks my dear
When reality kicks in, one seems to suddenly understand a previously incomprehensible problem.
Great read and I must say it is very funny too. I may have cracked a rib halfway through my read …lol!
😂😂😂😂Thanks man
This is the kind of motivation I needed. Mama Lyn though😂😂
I hope u have been running around dla😂😂
Oh My!! Jelly arms, Jelly belly, Jelly cheeks. This an awesome story. Inspiration dripping. Thank you namiee. Never stop writing.
lool.yes ohhh. thanks names
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Oh God.i find it hard eh viewing you in a professional light. I di read di only boss laugh.Wekieh.
Anyways you know say I know say u get sense noh.very smart somborri.u go sweetheart.always behind you.Everything on here is awesome as u already know u know that I know that you are awesome.
itd be your own sister. looool. thanks my darling!
Go girllllllll
forward ever!
This is inspiring bb. So proud of you
thanks dear
I see me in Atte hahaha. But I already had my aha moment and took a stand
Great! hope you stay consistent
Nice write up, great writing style and important message.
Everything i need to start living a healthier lifestyle
thank you.
This was laught out loud hilarious… i couldn’t jelp myself… amazing read… so inspiring and entertaining… btw… lets talk about those lyns shopping bags some more😂 i think i have a new sister..lol
hahahhahah. im sure id be a whole short story on how she shops. thanks dear
They say words will always retain their power.so it is important ,always that we speak up when we need to.the listener may not act but they heard and can’t unhear(if that’s even a word) you.like Atte did,they will act on your advice when the time is right.now where is Oprah with a book deal when you need her?
Veraaa, is this u or pams? 😂😂. Thanks ohhh
It sounds like Pams.hahaha
ikr. lool
We will never know
Good read
Now that is how you write a motivational speech hahaha. I hope to read more of your work 👏🏾
Thank u☺️☺️☺️
Hahaha, this is a great piece. More hilarious because I find myself in Lyn’s place, always shopping and weighing the stuff when it’s time to go back to Cameroon.
But the lesson has been driven home: every decision must come from within.
Thank you dear
Thank You!
Nice one. I enjoyed the read
Thanks!
This was a hilarious read !!straight talking – lived the bit “he looks pregnant all by himself “ 😂😂-
looool. Thank you!
This was a hilarious read !!straight talking – loved the bit “he looks pregnant all by himself “ 😂😂- it shook like jelly when he moved. Jelly arms, jelly belly, jelly cheeks ( Literally howling at this !!
Kudoz to Atte, food fr thought for me. Sure the next blog is about Lynn’s matter.
We’ll see
Nice one👌🏾
Merci!
This was a hilarious read. Filled with true lessons though.
I don’t even want to lose weight, I just want to get my body to move lol.
Keep sharing😘
Hahahahahaha@ just wanting your body to move. Start by walking 😉
This was a beautiful read.. funny too😂
Thank you☺️☺️
Waow! Well done girl! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks dear!
A salient point passed on through humour.A writing style so simple and yet sophisticated.If Chinua Achebe read this piece,he will be impressed on how you illustrate his adage in “Things Fall Apart”.The adage goes thus “If a man says yes ,his chi says “.Let your ink not go dry,waiting on the airport episode with my popcorn in hand.God bless.
Sahh! Thanks ohh. So humbled you think Chinue Achebe would have loved this🤗🤗
Such a great write up! Been trying to lose weight for over a year now but I am so indisciplined so I never get any real progress. Impatiently waiting for the write up on consistency.
Thanks dear. The weight journey can be burdensome and it takes disciplin. I am no fitness guru but il definitely follow-up with the consistency part
Amazing read! Thanks sis ..Consistency is really everything!
It is dear. thanks for the feedback sis!
Wow!!! You can never force a horse to drink water. As for me, when the time is right, I will just post a picture and you will write the story behind it. Bravo Atte!
looool. never force ma sister!! I am looking forward to writing ohhh. Muahhh!